Ah, the Power of Wal Mart
by Fiery And Proud
Summary: Danni and James, whilst making trouble in Wal-Mart, suddenly find themselves trapped in the world of Harry Potter. But who's complaining?
1. Who knew?

**_James' thoughts_**

**Danni's thoughts**

Yeah...In case you didn't read my profile, I'm the same person as Two-Bits. This is my penname for my Harry Potter stories. So, don't flame me for plagerism or whatever.

Love, much!

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"Danni?"

"Yes, James?"

"I feel a sudden inspiration coming on..."

We gazed in awe at the wonderful, amazing creation that is Wal-Mart. Danni gave me a sideways glance, a questioning glance, but I replied merely with a wicked grin.

It was time to have some fun.

"THE BILLYS ARE COMING, THE BILLYS ARE COMING!" I shrieked, as some poor, unsuspecting shopper tried to duck into the Peanut Butter aisle. Danni and I had commandeered it, in honor of our favorite little guitarist (besides moi, of course), Billy Martin, from Good Charlotte: fellow guitarist and Peanut Butter obsessionaire.

"James, we need spoons!" Danni gasped, suddenly. She was sitting on the floor, her own little shrine of Peanut Butter around her. She's a JIF girl. Me, I prefer Peter Pan.

"Don't these people know _anything?_" I sighed, exasperatedly. "Really? What were they thinking? If you're going to have an entire aisle dedicated to Peanut Butter, the next aisle _has_ to be spoons." Danni grinned, mischievously.

"James..."

"Uh-huh?" I said, absentmindedly, examining the Peanut Butter. Is that a scratch on the label?

"The next aisle..." She paused, for dramatic purposes. "...is the candy aisle."

I froze, my fingers in mid-reach for the suspect with the scratched label. "Candy?" I breathed. She nodded, smirking. In an instant, we were up, and in one bounding leap, we jumped over the towering aisles and landed in front of the M&M's section.

Okay, well, _actually_ we didn't leap _over_ the shelves, more like walked _around_ them, but honestly, where's the fun in that?

"Danni...I challenge you to a duel to the death! A fight to the finish! A battle to the--"

"Alright, alright!" Danni interrupted. "Choose your weapon." I grinned, then held aloft a single, gold-wrapped ball of chocolate: a Ferrero Rocher.

"_En guarde!_"

With that, I pelted her, like one would with a snowball, but the effect was not quite as satisfying. It did not shatter and soak into her clothes, freezing her until she could no longer adequately throw, but it was satisfying, none the less.

Yelping, Danni grabbed a bag of M&M's, and I laughed.

"M&M's? Againt the almighty power of the French?" I paused, thoughtfully. "Is Ferrero Rocher even French?" She shrugged, tore open the bag, and held up the contents.

Two words: Fun Size.

"AH! NOT THE FUN SIZE PACKS!" I shrieked, diving as she threw a well-aimed blow to my head. I retaliated, chucking another Ferrero Rocher. Not surprisingly, my aerodynamics were much better, the roundish shape assisting in the speed and accuracy.

Hmm...Aerodynamics...

Abandoning the Chocolate Wars (soon to be the next Episode in the Star Wars saga), I leapt to my feet, and Danni did as well, all fatal Ferrero wounds forgotten. Laughing rather maniacally, if I do say so myself, we slid oh-so-nonchalantly into the mops-and-brooms aisle. Grabbing a broom, I straddled it, saying, "It's the fastest broom in the world, isn't it, Danni?" I said in a high-pitched British accent. She grinned, 'mounting' her own.

"We'll see about that!"

We raced down the cleaning aisle, past the fabric section, through the electronics twice, and once around the jewelry department before we slammed into someone next to the shampoo aisle.

It was the manager.

"_What_ do you think you're doing?" he demanded, whilst trying to uphold the store-policy smile.

"Testing the aerodynamics," I said, seriously. Danni hid a snicker behind a hacking cough.

"Really..." he said, in a dangerous voice. He was tall, sallow, with greasy black hair. He distinctly reminded me of Professor Snape.

Danni, receiving my psychic vibes, reached over and handed him a bottle. "Here. Go wash your hair. You could use it." With that we leapt up and dashed away, leaving him shocked. "That felt good," Danni laughed, flopping down on the floor of the books section.

"Not good," I replied, in a British accent, picking up a copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. "Brilliant!" She grinned.

"Yeah, it was fun. You were right, though. He does look exactly like Snape, if you were to put Snape in a Wal-Mart uniform." I nodded, flipping to the start-of-term feast.

"It's a shame we don't do this more often," I mused. "We should've thought of this a long time ago." A girl walked by with bushy brown hair and rather large teeth. She looked suspiciously at us, then moved on. I stared at Danni.

**She looked exactly like Hermione Granger.**

_**No way. It's just a coincidence. Like the manager.**_

**You're probably right, but it can't hurt to dream, can it?**

**_No, but it only hurts more when we realize that our whims and fancies are just that: whims and fancies._**

A boy walked by with a pale, pointed face. He looked directly at me, gave a flirtatious grin, and continued walking.

**Okay, so why was that guy the spitting image of Draco Malfoy?**

**_And more importantly, why did he smile like that?_**

**With a smile like that, I wouldn't be complaining.**

**_I'm not, except about the fact that he's not flashing that smile again._**

Three boys walked past. One was tall and black, the other two were shorter, stockier, freckled, and red-headed, not to mention identical twins.

**...Alright, this is getting too weird. That was DEFINITELY Lee Jordan, and the Weasley twins.**

**_Either you're right, or we're going insane._**

_**...or both.**_

**HEY!**

**_Anyway, there's one way to find out._**

**How?**

**_Duh. Ask them for their names. Use our amazing femme-suave. And if they're normal, get their numbers, too. Those are some fine pieces of arse._**

**...I think I could live with your plan.**

Praying to God we weren't crazy, Danni and I left our corner and hurried to catch up to the threesome that had just walked by. (Not _that_ kind of threesome.) "Oy! What're your names?"

**Oh yeah. Suave. Nice.**

**_Shut. UP._**

"Er, I'm Fred Weasley...This is my twin, George..."

**_Thank you, Captain Obvious of the No Duh Realm..._**

"And I'm Lee Jordan. Who're you?" I grinned, rocking a bit. If I wasn't hyper at Wal-Mart, I sure as hell was now!

"I'm James Ryder, and this is my best mate, Danni Foster," I said, holding out my hand. The three boys shook it, grinning in amusement at my obvious sugar-high.

"Pleased to meet you," George said, oh-so-smoothly, kissing Danni's hand. She giggled--yes, _giggled_--and blushed.

"Charmed, I'm sure." I rolled my eyes.

"Hate to interrupt this lovely little flirt-a-thon, but could you three tell us what floor Dumbledore's study is on?" Danni gave me a glare, but I inconspicuously did not look at her. However, I cannot keep her thoughts out of my head.

**I'm SO going to kill you.**

**_Kill me later. We have to get enrolled!_**

"Sure. It's on the fifth floor. Can you get there all right?" I nodded, gave a hurried thanks, then dragged Danni out of the library. Of course, as fate would have it, I slammed directly into someone.

"Ack! Sorry, I--" I stopped talking as I realized I had slammed into Draco Malfoy.

"Well, hel-lo," Draco Malfoy purred. He was holding my wrists to steady me. He gave me that million-dollar smile and I blushed crimson, pulling away from him.

"Yeah, hi. Got to go talk to the Headmaster. See you later!"

"Oh, you will. No doubt about it." I dashed off, mentally slapping myself for saying 'See you later.' Meanwhile, Danni was snickering in my head.

**Looks like somebody's Malfoy's target. I must say, it's a welcomed change after Pansy Parkinson.**

**_Shut. UP. _**

**Ooh, nice comeback. Scary girl.**

I ignored her, stopping in front of the gargoyle. "Shit. What's the password?" I wondered aloud.

"Well, if we told you, then it wouldn't be much of a password, now would it?" the gargoyle sneered. I flipped it off, then said, "Wait, if Fred and George are still here, then we must know it. Think of all the past passwords."

"Sherbert Lemon!"

"Lemon Drop!"

"Cockroach Clusters!" The gargoyle sprang aside. "Ha," I smirked. "We must be in Harry's fourth year."

"You _did_ pick up Goblet of Fire..." Danni pointed out. I rolled my eyes and stepped onto the moving staircase. It stopped at the large door with a gryffin knocker. I knocked, hesitantly.

"Come in," called a warm voice. We stepped, hesitantly, inside. Professor Dumbledore was standing next to Fawkes, petting the brilliant bird. I admired his beautiful red-and-gold plume, then turned to Professor Dumbledore.

"Er, Professor Dumbledore...My name is Jaime Ryder, and this is Danielle Montgomery. We're...from...America, and...we somehow ended up...here," I said, awkwardly. Dumbledore raised one eyebrow.

"Oh?" We nodded.

"We'd like to be enrolled as...transfer students." He sat down at his large mahogany desk and placed his fingers together, surveying us over them.

"Really...Well, term only started two days ago...Have you been to a magical institute before?" I glanced at Danielle.

**_You can take this one..._**

**Gee, thanks.**

**_Ah...Sarcasm..._**

"Well, not exactly, no..." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

"I thought not."

"You see, sir, we're actually from another...dimension, I suppose. In our...dimension, the wizarding world is only in books. We know all about Hogwarts, but we've never actually done magic." He smiled.

"You're fourteen?" he asked. We both nodded in unison. "Well, I suppose...if you're willing to work hard...we can enroll you. You'll have to work very hard after your regular lessons so we can catch you up, but I have a sneaking suspicion that that won't take long."

He smiled, and we high-fived each other. "YES!"


	2. Training

"Well, now that's out of the way," I said, feeling very triumphant as we bounded down the spiral staircase and into the fifth floor corridor. Danni stopped "bounding."

"Do you realize, oh-ye-of-little-smoothness, that you introduced me as Danni Foster to Weasley One and Weasley Two-"

"And Lee," I added with another crazed, sugar-high grin.

"-and as Danni Montgomery to Professor Dumbledore?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, unperturbed by my sugar-high. It was quite funny, really. Danni's usually the one with the sugar-high, not me.

"Well..." I wracked my brain for an excuse. Danni's real name is Danielle Montgomery-Foster, and sometimes I switch around what surname I use when referring to her. "It just sounds more...professional."

"Don't even try," Danni said, rolling her eyes. "Let's just go find McGonagall's office." I looked around for a helpful student, but it appeared that it was class time. Or perhaps no one was on the fifth floor.

"Well, perhaps we should just wander around until we find something useful," I suggested. Danni rolled her eyes once again. "Hey, cut me some slack. I'm too hyper to think logically," I said defensively. She grinned.

"Sure it's not Draco Malfoy's million-dollar-smile that's got you so befuddled," she teased. I raised an eyebrow.

"Ooh, big word, Danni. Your vocabulary is just getting so much better, considering the only things you could say earlier were 'George,' 'hot,' and 'Charmed, I'm sure,'" I shot back. Danni scowled as a bell rang and the classroom doors opened to release students from their respective classes. They all seemed to be heading downstairs, so I assumed it was lunchtime.

"Hey, there's McGonagall!" Danni said, excitedly. Upon hearing her name, Professor McGonagall, tall, thin, and foreboding as ever, turned around to face us.

_**Your turn. I handled Dumbledore.**_

"Professor McGonagall, I'm Dannielle Montgomery-"

_**See! I told you it sounded more professional!**_

"-and this is Jaime Ryder. We're new transfer students. We've just been enrolled, and Professor Dumbledore told us to find you. We were sorted into Gryffindor," she added, by way of explanation.

"What year?" she asked shortly, ushering us out of the way of oncoming traffic.

"Fourth," I said, promptly.

"Well, all right. Do you have your schedules?" McGonagall said. I glanced at Danni, and she looked back, just as unsure.

"Well, we actually don't have any," I said, hesitantly. "We're supposed to-"

"Professor McGonagall!" McGonagall turned around. It was Nearly Headless Nick. "Professor Dumbledore would like to see you," he said, pulling up the ruff around his neck.

"Thank you, Nick," she said. He bowed, and disappeared through the wall. She turned back to us. "It's lunchtime. For now, you shall go to classes with the Gryffindors. Just go to classes you're interested in, and we'll get your schedule settled by tomorrow."

Thanking her, we hurried down the stairs, heading for the Great Hall. I turned a corner and nearly bumped into someone else.

_**It's just not safe walking around here!**_

"Hello," I said, brightly. The boy smiled back at me.

"Hello," he said. "Are you American?" He must have noticed the accent. I nodded. "I'm Harry Potter."


	3. Breakfast

"What do we have this morning?" I asked Danni as we walked down the marble staircase toward the Great Hall. She shrugged. Both of us were dead tired. If we kept this training up every night, we'd either become insomniacs, or die of exhaustion.

"I didn't get a schedule, did you?" I shook my head, then collapsed _into_ the stairs.

"Bugger," I muttered, trying to pull myself out of the trick step. It wasn't working. "You're _not_ helping!" I snapped at Danni, who was snickering at me. She didn't answer.

"Allow me." I wasn't sure whether to blush or to cringe as Draco Malfoy hurried up the steps to assist me. He lifted me at the waist, and I was surprised at how strong he was. He definitely didn't get that way from Quidditch, that's for sure. I thought about asking him that, but I decided his ego didn't need any more boosting than it already had.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled. Danni snickered.

**You're so eloquent.**

**_Yeah, bite me._**

"I'm Draco Malfoy," he said with a sweeping bow. I debated on whether or not to give him my name.

**Just tell him!**

"I'm James Ryder," I said, finally. He raised one blonde eyebrow. "My real name's Jaime, but I prefer James." He nodded.

"Well, James, I hope to see you soon. What house are you in?" Draco asked, that smile never leaving his face. It was quite nice compared to the sneer.

**Here it comes…**

_**No kidding…**_

"Well, actually…I'm in Gryffindor."

I watched with deep amusement as the smile faded as his face contorted into surprise, and then morphed into the snidest of sneers.

"You're a _Gryffindor?_" he spat, disgusted with himself for flirting with said Gryffindor. I nodded, brightly.

"Yup! Toodles!"

Laughing hysterically, Danni and I ran down the rest of the stairs to the Great Hall. Pleased with myself, I swaggered into the Great Hall and dropped onto the bench of the Gryffindor table and began loading my plate with food.

"Morning, James!" I looked up and saw Harry sitting next to Danni. Judging by the look on her face, she had noticed this long before me, but what can I say? I smiled.

"Hey, Harry. What do we have for first period? McGonagall never gave us a schedule," I explained. Harry dug out his schedule and glanced it over. He pulled a face.

"Potions with the Slytherins," he said. I grimaced.

"Great. _Just_ what I need."

**_Another moment with Malfoy._**

**Think of it this way: now you have a source of amusement.**

**_Yeah, but it's not cool to have a gorgeous babe hate you._**

**True dat.**


	4. Potions

Wow. My first reviews. That's kinda' sad. Thanks to Firey Spiret and LionHeart21 for reviewing.

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"And who are you?" I cringed and raised my gaze to meet the cold eyes of Severus Snape. I almost started laughing as I remembered the Wal-Mart manager who looked exactly like him.

**You know, I don't think blue is really his color.**

**_Shut it, Danni._**

"I'm Jaime Ryder and this is Danielle Montgomery. We're transfer students," I explained, ignoring the fact that the entire class was watching this with curious silence.

**He needs shampoo worse than the manager.**

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, and Snape's eyes narrowed. "_What_ is so amusing, Miss Ryder?" he asked slowly. I shook my head.

"Nothing, nothing," I muttered. He glared at me for a moment before saying, "Take a seat."

**_Damn you, Danni._**

**'Twas funny.**

_**But not cool. I don't need Snape on my back.**_

"Well, sor-_ry_," Danni muttered aloud. I gave her an apologetic look.

**_Sorry. I guess the Malfoy thing kinda' set me off._**

**It's okay. Just don't let it happen again.**

**_I won't._**

"So, today we will be making the…"

"I officially hate Potions," I announced as we left the dungeons. Danni nodded in agreement.

We'd made an incredibly difficult Potion, and I'd been paired with Pansy Parkinson, who spent the whole time whining to me because Draco apparently hadn't made-out with her in the past three days. Needless to say, I wasn't able to concentrate, and my cauldron exploded.

Snape was _not_ pleased.

He took away twenty points and gave me a failing grade.

"He's such a _git!_" I hissed. A sympathetic hand squeezed my shoulder. I turned to see that the hand belonged to Harry.

"He's always like that. Especially to Gryffindors. I reckon he's got you on his black list for grinning like that when you were introducing yourself."

"Yeah, what were you grinning for anyway?" Ron Weasley asked, walking on my other side. "I can't imagine anything funny about talking to Snape." Danni and I chuckled.

"Well," she began, "there's a store manager back home who looks exactly like him. And the last time we saw him, I handed him a bottle of shampoo and told him to wash his hair."

"I was just imagining doing the same thing," I said. Ron and Harry roared with laughter.

"Well, come on," Hermione said impatiently. "We've got Herbology with the Hufflepuffs next."


End file.
